Months of laying low and pretendering I don’t know anything. Pretendering something awfully terrorifying wasn’t about to happen.
Months without being able to contact you—or anyone!
Because they’ve been watching me.
But I wasn’t lazying around. Or napping my days away.
Oh no!
I was getting to the bottom of the Siamesers' dast...dastard...awful deeds!
I've been investigating...
(Honestly, I've been working very, very hard. Most of the time. But a cat needs her beauty rest. And her early morning rest. And her mid-morning just before early afternoon rest. And...)
And what I discovered when I wasn't napping is more terrorifying than I could ever have dreamed.
Pipkin has given up trying to recruit other kitties, and now he's moved on to something even worse.
He's conspiring with non-cats!
But they wouldn't listen--thank goodness!
But before they could even swim away, Pipkin was hatching another evil plot.
He set a trap in the yard.
He caught a fluffery yellow dustbuster who liked to leap and yap--it was the scariest little thing I've ever seen!
But then the little guy's mommy demanded the Siamesers set him free.
So the Siamesers are still searching. Still lurking around the yard. Still sending scouts. Still working on their terrible, evil, twisted, Siameserly plot to...
to...
to...
No. It's just too terrorifying to say!
But I have to.
You have to know.
You have to help me stop them.
They're trying to...
They're...
They're trying to find me a new best friend!
Just like...
Like...
Like them!
Yuck!
Can you imagine?
How can they be so cruel? So diabobsical. So so so…
So evil!
Don’t they know, I’m ascared of new friends?
All new friends!
New friends are very, very scary. Especially the furry kind. Or the squawky kind. Or the dustbustery kind. Or...Or every kind except the moms and dads kind. I like the moms and dads kind. But only them. And sometimes the grandpa kind. And the grandma kind. And the Uncle Ryan kind. And that nice friend of Mommy's who I let pick me up when nobody else can. But that's it!
The rest are terrorifying.
But I’ve come up with a plan. Those Siamesers aren't making me no new friends! No way! I’m going to my room, and I’m never, ever ever coming out again!
Unless Daddy says it’s time for din-din. I’ll come out for din-din.
But only din-din.
Definitely not for any scary new friends.
The end.
This post is dedicated to Tempe the Cat. I never met Tempe, but he smelled interesting. And if I was braver and faster and could have made it out the back door before Daddy noticed, I would have at least said Hi before I ran aways. And maybe we could have been friends. I still would have hidden from him, because even nice kitties are scary. But it would have been a friendly hiding.
Tempe the Cat
