Help!

Hi. Hello. Is there anyone out there?

I can’t tell, because I’m kind of hiding, just in case there are lots of you. People freak me out.

I hide a lot. This is one of my favorite hiding places:

But I’ll sneak out occasionally, just to write something. And maybe, just maybe, if you give me some time, I’ll sniff your hand and decide I like you and let you pet me under the chin.

Just don’t tell your cats about me! That’s rule #1: NO OTHER CATS ALLOWED!

I don’t like other cats. They kind of freak me out.

Okay, they more than kind of freak me out. They make me run in terror and find the bestest hiding place ever (even better than my toilet—and can’t show you, because they’d find it!) where if they come anywhere near me I can smack them in the face and hiss and burrow even deeper so they won’t ever ever ever find me.

Which brings me to my problem - I don't live alone. My house is inhabited by TWO OTHER CATS!

And not just any two other cats. The evilest, sneakiest, craziest Siamese cats in the whole wide world.

And they’re out to get me:

Thursday - The Bully

Pipkin - The Little Devil

Horrifying, aren’t they?

You can’t even begin to imagine. That’s why I need your help. I need to get rid of them.

The Siamesers have to go!