In the Beginning

Once upon a time, life was sweet and wonderful and Siamesers free.

Many, many, many, many years ago (I can’t count, so I don’t know how many), I lived in a very scary place with very scary people and I sneezed and coughed and had stinky poo all the time.

But then one day, Daddy and Mommy found me bounding across a field. I bounded a lot, because bounding is the best way to avoid scary things. And they rescued me and made me not sneeze or cough or have stinky poos anymore. And they took me to a place called an apartment.

It was smaller than my field, but there was nothing to be scared of. I was so happy.

I chased balls.

I played tug of war. (I always won!)

I wrestled with the vicious puff-monster.

I even moved into my own Gilly-sized apartment.

It was the perfectest time.

But then one day, Mommy and Daddy had one of those very, very bad ideas Mommies and Daddies sometimes have. They thought I’d be happy with another kitty.

And it's been all downhill since then...

The Monster in the Basement - Part IV

The monster crept up the stairs.

The door creaked. The monsterous footsteps thump, thump, thumped down the hall.

It let out a long, slow monster growl. Then it rounded the corner with the evilest glint in its monstery green eyes.

And I hid.

The monster crept across the living room.

Stalking its prey.

I tried to warn her. I cried, “Mew.”

But I was too scared. All that came out was, "M-"

And it was too late.

Thursday was cornered.

She ran.

The monster lunged.

She leapt for the couch.

I closed my eyes!

There was hissing and snarling and bullying and monstering.

I had to peek.

And then...

And then the worst thing ever in a million killion kitty years happened.

Even worster than that.

The worstest.

The monster...

Thursday...

They...

They...

I can’t even say it.

They made friends!

Another cat!

I'm going to keep hiding. Maybe forever.

Help...

The Monster in the Basement - Part III

It was awful!!!

I had to save Mom and Dad, so I opened the door and crept down the basement stairs.

I rounded the creepy curve.

Down the rickety steps...

Into the deep, dark domain of the monster.

And then, in the distance, I saw it. Waiting for its next victim.

I screamed.

It lunged.

I tried to run, but it moved so fast.

Like a blur.

I used the litter.

Then I got my first good look at the monster.

It was the terriblest, most horriblest beast in the world.

(I want to hide just thinking about it.)

I shouldn’t show you.

You don’t want to see.

It’s too awful. So awfully awful!

Even worse than I imagined.

But I have to.

You have to know. You have to be ready.

It looked like:

I ran for my life!

Up the stairs and around the corner.

I could hear it breathing, howling, snarling right behind me.

I barely got away.

I slammed the door shut just in time.

I’m safe.

For now. But the monster is still down there. And someone is going to have to stop it.

Please help!

It’s getting stronger.

Go to Part IV

The Monster in the Basement - Part II

I’m a very brave cat.

I’m a fierce hunter.

I captured the evilest, giantest mouse ever!

No monster can stop me!

I’m the bravest cat in the world.

The bravest cat in any world.

The bravest—

That’s not true.

I’m scared.

Very, very scared.

Even scareder than when I got the itchies and Dad had to wash me.

What if the monster breaks out of the cellar? What if it tries to eat me up? What if it finishes me off and then goes after Siamesers—

Wait, that would okay...

(even scaredy cats can be evil sometimes)

But if the monster goes after Mom and Dad—

I can’t let that happen. No one eats my dad!

I’m going down there.

Hopefully this won't be my last post...

Go to Part III

The Monster in the Basement

There’s a monster in my basement.

It came in the night from beyond the frozen river.

There was a gust of wind, a rush of cold, cold air, and the monster crept down to the basement, because that’s where monsters live.

I can hear it howling from the other side of the door.

Someone’s going to have to go down there—before the monster comes up for us.

But not me!

I don't like monsters. Especially this monster. This is the most terriblest monster in the world. Even Thursday is hiding.

I'm going to go hide.

I'll write soon—if I can.

Go to Part II

Help!

Hi. Hello. Is there anyone out there?

I can’t tell, because I’m kind of hiding, just in case there are lots of you. People freak me out.

I hide a lot. This is one of my favorite hiding places:

But I’ll sneak out occasionally, just to write something. And maybe, just maybe, if you give me some time, I’ll sniff your hand and decide I like you and let you pet me under the chin.

Just don’t tell your cats about me! That’s rule #1: NO OTHER CATS ALLOWED!

I don’t like other cats. They kind of freak me out.

Okay, they more than kind of freak me out. They make me run in terror and find the bestest hiding place ever (even better than my toilet—and can’t show you, because they’d find it!) where if they come anywhere near me I can smack them in the face and hiss and burrow even deeper so they won’t ever ever ever find me.

Which brings me to my problem - I don't live alone. My house is inhabited by TWO OTHER CATS!

And not just any two other cats. The evilest, sneakiest, craziest Siamese cats in the whole wide world.

And they’re out to get me:

Thursday - The Bully

Pipkin - The Little Devil

Horrifying, aren’t they?

You can’t even begin to imagine. That’s why I need your help. I need to get rid of them.

The Siamesers have to go!